Meticulously arranged, some have been custom made, because the beverages in question are only available in fountain drinks. I stare at a picture taken in someone’s wood paneled basement, in a subreddit specifically for Mtn Dew enthusiasts (because the internet, for all its faults, has guaranteed us this: no matter how esoteric our passions, we need never feel alone). Fans of the drink post photos of their collections online, bottles and cans in a Lisa Frank array of hues. Mtn Dew has a following so devoted it makes Catholicism seem like a casual hobby. What I’m saying is that this project has ruined me. If someone can name more than three flavors of Mtn Dew off the top of their head, they probably aren’t fit to live in society. You are probably saying to yourself, “I did not know so many flavors of Mtn Dew existed.” That is a reasonable response. What is going on with the fish? Is that a fish?Īnd so, I hunted down 21 flavors of Mountain Dew, or Mtn Dew, as it was recently and unnecessarily rebranded. I can only assume Kavanaugh is somewhat responsible. I’m not normally compelled to drink Mountain Dew Overdrive, which professes to have “a bold, charged citrus punch” flavor, and has a bear that looks like it’s an anti-vaxxer on the label. Wade? No, of course not.īut like, those fuckers didn’t help. Am I actually blaming my Mountain Dew escapades on the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe v. Sometimes, you need to be reminded that your body is still yours, and that you can do with it what you want, no matter what anyone else says. I’ve tried to find the logic in my actions, and as best I can tell, it’s this: sometimes, the world becomes a dark place, and you desperately need a distraction from all of it. Why am I voluntarily drinking a beverage whose ad campaigns seem to vaguely suggest sexual violence? Why am I forcing my kidneys to undergo the aging technique used in that Benjamin Button movie to make Brad Pitt look like a testicle? Why am I doing this twenty-one times? Posted in: Food, Life at Home, Nothing to Do With Travel, Random MusingsĮxplaining why I embarked on a quest to consume as many different flavors of Mountain Dew as possible is not an easy task.
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